We are Selfish
by Symphoniafan
Summary: She regretted a lot of things in her life, but she wondered if it was fair to even regret this. Or was that selfish too.


Been crazy busy over the last few months, but everyone who still reads my stories and a big welcome to those that have just started, thank you for your patience! I hope you enjoy this one-shot.

**Summary: She regretted a lot of things in her life, but she wondered if it was fair to even regret this. Or was that selfish too.**

Disclaimer: I do not own Tales of Symphonia.

**We are Selfish**

"We are selfish."

That was the first thought that crossed her mind as she stared out the window. It was a thought that sprang from the deepest recesses of her mind and had whispered to her, taunted her and she had banished it away, time and time again.

But it was true, she knew that. It was what kept her up at night, forfeiting the peaceful escape of the dreaming world and lingering on the brink of reality and nightmares. It was that place that existed when the body relaxes, and the mind calms in the dwindling light, the dimming light wrapping its blanket of exhaustion around one's being.

But then it happens, that small whispering thought that makes one lay, staring into the darkness. She knew it happened. In the ranch it was no uncommon to hear the unsteady breaths amid the silence. Dozens of prisoners laying on the hard ground, thinking of a longing, a regret...

Now she felt it once again, but it wasn't from the Ranch. She had felt so free, so alive...now she only realized how pathetic and stupid she had been. Her decisions, her actions...Selfish.

She knew he didn't sleep behind her and she wondered, briefly, whether he lived with this thought. Not this particular thought she had, but the thoughts that swarm the realm between sleep and wakefulness. He never slept and she couldn't see how he could have kept his sanity all these years. Countless years of pondering and anxiety building and wrestling with the exhausted mind.

And she was exhausted, the thought only laying more heavily on her shoulders with each passing moment, but stimulating and prodding her brain.

She regretted a lot of things in her life, but she wondered if it was fair to even regret this. Or was that selfish too.

She had celebrated, elated at the realization of what she had been granted. But now in the darkness, after the shock and happiness that left her on a high, she wondered...

Her hand strayed down, sliding along the gently protruding curve of her abdomen. In the reflection of the window, she looked alien, far too thin in her face and arms to have a stomach protrude in such a way. The dim glow of the stone embedded in her hand, cast a strange shadow upon her clothes as her hand shifted back and forth ever so slightly.

"We are selfish," She spoke the words aloud this time.

Despite knowing he lay upon the bed a few feet from her, she knew he heard, knew he lay awake, tormented by similar agonizing thoughts.

She watched him in the reflection of the window, but he did not stir and she was glad of it, returning her focus out the window. Saying the words gave her a strange sense of relief, as if now that she acknowledged the thought, she could control what happened next.

However, while that thought faded, floating away with her voice, another took its place.

"It's feeding on our baby."

She couldn't stop it, now that she had parted her lips and found the voice. The force of the thoughts had found the current formed by the breach between thought and vocalization.

"I feel it, Kratos. It draws on me, taking what should be for the baby."

"I'm not big enough."

"It won't make it."

"What if it is deformed?"

"What if-"

Suddenly he was there, surrounding her with his grip, her sight of the window blocked by darkness and warmth. He seemed to envelope her completely, his arms drawing her tightly against his body.

"That will not happen, Anna. " His voice was low and smooth, but tight with suppressed emotion that he dare not release. He was that much stronger...

"How do you know? How can you say that?"

"I just know."

"How?" She demanded, gasping into his shirt, her hands cradling their unborn child. She needed to know. How could she just take his word? How could he expect her to just accept that without reason, without justification?

"How?" she whispered, her voice strained.

"Because..." He started, kissing her head, his hand cradling the back of her head, as her hands cradled her stomach. "We won't let that happen? It couldn't happen? Not to our child, Anna. Our child will be perfect, healthy, unscathed by that parasite upon your hand. Our baby will be alright."

"How do you know that?" She pleaded, feeling strength from his words.

"Because we are selfish."


End file.
